quote:Originally posted by Dax
Vancouver BC - After a 6 month long investigation by the RCMP an online mixed nut theft ring has been busted after police found incriminating evidence posted to a local hiking message board. When asked for comment, a poster on the message board who would only identify himself as Dru said: "This is a public message board... People often forget that."
RCMP spokeswoman Sgt. Sylvie Tremblay warned other would be nut mixers, "We are watching you". This case marks the first time ever that anyone has cared about shoplifting, in fact we are shocked that this story made it past our editor. When asked about the charges, and the costly 6 month investigation the RCMP defended the actions of their members. "It's sort of like the broken windows analogy, sure 3 people were gunned down last night in a Surrey suburb while heroin and crack cocaine were openly being sold just blocks away, but the RCMP feels that these minor crimes lead to an atmosphere of disregard for the rule of law that promotes the types of gang-land style shootings that make the front page of the newspapers" said Sgt. Tremblay. "We felt that the $600,000 investigation, which involved 8 full time members and 2 computer forensic analysts which were flown in from Toronto was a small price to pay to crack down on someone paying $4.86 for a 500 gram bag of nuts that should have netted the multi-billion dollar grocery chain $5.23 if sold individually."
The leader of the ring, known only by his online identity of Hikeinbc was released on $250 bail and ordered to return next week for trial. If convicted he faces a possible 4 hours of community service, but will most likely only serve 1.2 hours with good behavior.
EDITORS NOTE: As of press time the judge has reduced Hikeinbc's sentence to writing an apology letter to the store owner. The RCMP defend their investigation as "the right thing to do".
ROFLMAO, or whatever the kids say these days. Nice one, Dax!