Why don't you go to marriage counselling? You don't need to actually be married to benefit from it. A 3rd party could help the two of you see eye to eye.
My girlfriend has been seeing a counsellor due to her past medical problems. However, MSP doesn't cover for it anymore, so she just stopped seeing her counsellor.
I haven't seen a counsellor since my high school days, but I do think it is a good idea to go to marriage counselling with her.