What is your price point for a vehicle as that will be the most important detail before you can even look at model and year.
I disagree about the 4runner though as I just sold my 2017 Crosstrek for a 2012 4runner and it is absolutely awesome. It is not as fuel efficient as I was getting 10L per 100km on the Subaru to 14L per 100km with the Runner but it is worth the extra capability and I used them both as everyday commuters as well. Also the reliability of a Toyota cannot be understated.
The approach angle of the Crosstrek was way to restrictive and the tires were a 17in rim with a low series of tires which were horrible on logging roads I was getting flats quiet a bit. You cant even air them down properly as the tires have no sidewalls. I bought the Crosstrek because of the 8.7in of clearance but like you mentioned the approach and departure angle dont allow you to use the clearance properly. In my opinion the Subaru's are only good on the steep FSR's because of the AWD but as soon as you hit cross ditches its not as capable.
I mean, I don't quite have a budget in mind right now, but also don't want a crazy priced g-wagon both from cost and from maintenance concerns haha
I was considering the 2020 4runner - I haven't test-driven it yet, but definitely worried about it being so outdated and inefficient, even with some tech updates in 2020... Also, I am exactly 6' tall and I'm pretty sure I can't sleep in the back without a platform because the bottom of the back seats create a "wall" that is too short
Looked at the grand cherokee trailhawk - checks a lot of boxes, but quickly come across reliability/maintenance concerns. Also the air suspension sounds fantastic, but also a potential maintenance headache too. Also it's pretty outdated too, and supposedly being refreshed for MY21
Outback - again checks a lot of boxes... approach/departure not amazing for these ditches but the community is huge. Swapping tires, lifting it, etc. all seem well-supported and documented. People complain about the CVT but... I dunno. Obviously plenty of people use them. Heard about issues with head gaskets on older models not sure if that's still a problem.
Most recently came across the Honda Passport - I loveeee the cargo capacity, but it only has 8.1" clearance. Good but not amazing approach/departure angles.
Toyota rav4 - I just feel like ultimately it's a bit too small, and truly not really that offroad-worthy. That's what their tacoma+4runner are for...